Cupid Beat Me Up

Can one truly expect to be happy if she consumes herself with pleasing others before herself?  Is it okay to want your family to be whole again but just not with the one who helped you create it?  Love doesn’t make these choices very easy for anyone but it wouldn’t be called love if it came easy.  Sometimes we fall in love with the idea of love instead of the actual person, which always leads to an unhappy ending.  But how do we know that’s what we are doing when we are doing it?  Who should we depend on to hold up the white flag and say, “Time Out”.  Surely, there has got to be someone else responsible for the idiotic mistakes we make throughout life.  Obviously, we humans are merely innocent bystanders being strung along by the master pupeteer. 

I was one of those puppets.  I fell in love with the idea of love because it fit into my master plan.  Keyword:  “my”.  No one told me that my life was not in my own hands but that He had complete control over it.  So while I was trying to complete everything in my 5 year post highschool plan, He was steady waiting on me to let go and let God.  Well it’s taken me 10 years to get to that point.  Ever since highschool I’ve been trying to find someone like the love of my life.  Now I’ve finally decided to stop running from him (the love of my life) and just let things fall into place like they are supposed to.  I’ve made up my mind to stop planning that wedding I’ve always wanted but never had.  I’ve made up my mind to stop trying to push true love away and just embrace it.  Unfortunately, this enlightenment has caused me to hurt another as well and I am truly sorry.  I wish that he could understand. Perhaps one day he will.


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