Poetry – If She

So ashamed of her past she tried real hard to correct it

In a letter to Him she begs and pleads for forgiveness

If she sets back the clock, maybe she can erase it

If she had never said yes, maybe she could have prevented this mess

This incredibly f’d up bullshit that she’s created

Not that “reality” crap that’s become the world’s fetish

If she kept her legs shut maybe then she could fake it

If she just had a genie maybe he could grant her this one wish

Turn back the hands of time when life was less complicated

Make everything all right for her and no one else

If she could she would change every last minute

Take some time for herself and give everyone else much less

If she could go to back when then she would never be tempted

Call it what you will but then again, I’m just selfish

Think About it

Have you ever wondered why your ex  was a psycho? Or why you freak out at the sound of a closed door? Could it be the result of a disfunctional relationship with your parents?  Maybe you had a traumatic experience with an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. The next time you get upset at your significant other stop for a moment and think:  What, When, Why, and How?  What made them do what they did?  When did it happen?  Why did it happen? How did it affect them and how will it affect you?  There’s two sides to every story.

Cupid Beat Me Up

Can one truly expect to be happy if she consumes herself with pleasing others before herself?  Is it okay to want your family to be whole again but just not with the one who helped you create it?  Love doesn’t make these choices very easy for anyone but it wouldn’t be called love if it came easy.  Sometimes we fall in love with the idea of love instead of the actual person, which always leads to an unhappy ending.  But how do we know that’s what we are doing when we are doing it?  Who should we depend on to hold up the white flag and say, “Time Out”.  Surely, there has got to be someone else responsible for the idiotic mistakes we make throughout life.  Obviously, we humans are merely innocent bystanders being strung along by the master pupeteer. 

I was one of those puppets.  I fell in love with the idea of love because it fit into my master plan.  Keyword:  “my”.  No one told me that my life was not in my own hands but that He had complete control over it.  So while I was trying to complete everything in my 5 year post highschool plan, He was steady waiting on me to let go and let God.  Well it’s taken me 10 years to get to that point.  Ever since highschool I’ve been trying to find someone like the love of my life.  Now I’ve finally decided to stop running from him (the love of my life) and just let things fall into place like they are supposed to.  I’ve made up my mind to stop planning that wedding I’ve always wanted but never had.  I’ve made up my mind to stop trying to push true love away and just embrace it.  Unfortunately, this enlightenment has caused me to hurt another as well and I am truly sorry.  I wish that he could understand. Perhaps one day he will.

HeartBreaker in Need of Advice

So “honesty”, it’s that thing where you’re not supposed to tell any mistruths.  Honesty and relationships don’t always go hand in hand.  How can you tell your significant other that the reason you’re breaking up with him is because you don’t feel any sparks when he kisses you?  How can you stay with someone if you have to force yourself to do something as simple as hug them?  In my opinion, you shouldn’t stay in a relationship like that.  It’s not fair to you or the person your’e with.  Unfortunately, the person being hurt doesn’t always see things that way.  As far as they are concerned you have just broken their heart and you can burn in hell for all they care. So for now, I’ll be the monster. 

Yes, I broke his heart because mine belongs to someone else and probably always has.  I broke his heart because I don’t want to settle anymore.  I broke his heart because I’m putting myself first for a change.  I broke his heart because I just want to be happy. 

When you love someone, even if they don’t love you back, shouldn’t you want that person to be happy?  Any takers, out there???

Poetry – Free To Be Me

Free to Be Me

Can you say trapped?

Can you say restricted, confined inside a flesh cell

Alone and afraid with no one in whom I could tell

To come out would surely get me slapped

Into oblivion or better known to me as what I like to call home

Where I reside inside my shell where there are no phones

No one to tease, resent, or ask questions about the unknown

A place where I can be fierce as I wanna be, hot as I wanna be

Down right diva-licious and care free if I wanna be

Can you say happy?

Can you say comfortable and exceptionally wonderful

Feeling di-no-mite and very well capable

Of stepping out from the shadows of inequity

And living it up under the rainbow of equality

I am me and I am beautiful inside and out

I am me and I am what the world is trying to be about

Honest and forthcoming. What you see is what you get

If you don’t like it you can kiss my (beep)

Poetry – What’s Next?

What’s Next?

Excuse me for a minute while I clear my throat

I’ve got a lot to say and I don’t want to choke

You see I’ve been sitting on this for ten years

And I don’t know how much longer I can hold back the tears

When we first met, you were the man of my dreams

Or at least for a time that’s exactly how it seemed

Seven months in, you came at me with a grin

Standing on two feet you asked me for my hand

Without hesitation I said, “yes”

Never once stopped to think about what was best

Another year later we moved in with the family

So long to the honeymoon, no more living happily

The ring came off and the dark side came out

Is it me who’s tripping? What’s that all about?

If you don’t want to love me, I’ll find someone who will

Call me out of character? Boy, are you for real?

I’ve got a lot of patience but I don’t how much more I can take

Keep talking smack. I can find a new mate.

I aint got time for the drama. I’m done crying for you.

After five long years what do you expect me to do

Poetry – Mrs. Permanent

Mrs. Permanent

She wears her hair big and round

But she’s not trying to make a statement

She’s stepping out proudly displaying the courage she has found

Starting a new life fresh, waiting for Mr. Replacement

Been out the game for a while, she’s the new girl in town

No time for playing kid games she’s looking for Mr. Commitment

She likes them tall, light, and handsome

She wants them hard and rugged with just a touch of innocence

She is the one and only, fit to wear any crown

She is the one of your dreams, she is Mrs. Permanent.