Confessions of a Lost Girl-Virgin No More

The day I lost my virginity was probably about as exciting as most first times go.  We were in his bedroom at his parents house.  No one was home so it was the perfect time.  He was four years older than  I and although he wasn’t the cutest guy around, he had a strange charm about him that kept me interested.  I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that he was an older guy on the football team at school.  There was nothing romantic about that day.  I had decided after listening to numerous sex stories from my friends that I was ready and that was the day and he was the guy.  He really didn’t have to do much coaxing I had already been convinced by my experienced classmates, that it was better to lose my virginity at the tender age of fourteen rather than wait for marriage as originally intended. 

So, we did it.  It was short and there wasn’t much to it.  I barely spotted afterwards and he had said that for all the jumping and complaining I had done he had barely touched me.  I will admit that I was prepared to be in pain and when I wasn’t I thought I was suppose to act like it.  Who was I kidding? 

But oddly enough I developed a strange infatuation with him and called it love.  I didn’t learn until later that it was only because he had been my first that my mind had become clouded with illusions of being in love.  And from here on we were in a relationship.  We had regular rendevous at his parent’s house but at some point in time our relationship made a turn for the worse.  He became demanding. Physical.  I was trying to break away from him and he was demanding sex as if it was his right.  Telling him no was useless, he would just pick me up, throw me over his shoulder, take me to the garage, and do it anyway.  I can’t remember how many times he forced his way on me but I knew it had to stop.  But how?  Wasn’t I the one who had stepped into this pile of cow dung?  It was my fault I was in this predicament so who was I  going to tell?  My parents?  Yeah, right.  They would just blame me for being such and idiot.  I think I was more embarrassed and ashamed than anything. I couldnt’ tell my parents so I told my friends.  My friends have always been there for me.  A few have even become like family.  Besides, two years later when I did tell them?  They did nothing.  Just another sob story in the life of a lost girl.


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