Confessions of a Lost Girl – First Kiss


The clouds must have fallen from the sky and landed under my feet the day I got my first kiss.  The fact that I had even been kissed was more of a surprise then the kiss itself.   I mean I was twelve years old and none of the guys at school had ever even remotely shown any type of romantic interest in me.  In reality I was the middle man.  The girls came to me to get information about the boys and the boys came to me to help get them out the dog house .  I had crushes but I was just never the lovey-dovey-mushy type.  I was competitive and loved knowing I was stronger than a boy or could do something better than boys.  Besides I learned at a really young age that girls can just be more trouble than they’re worth.  Even now I could count on one hand how many female friends I’ve had longer than five years.  But back to the topic at hand. 

His name was Rashaad and he had invited me over to talk about his relationship with a friend of mine.  Oddly enough, he didnt’ really have much to say.  I could tell he was thinking about something but he just wouldn’t spit it out.  Since he didn’t have much to say we cut my visit short and he walked me out the backdoor.  We said our good-byes and I began walking home.  The sun was shinning bright on that warm June day as I crossed the street and headed up the sidewalk to the next street over.

“Shey!”, Rashaad yelled.

I turned around to see Rashaad waving me back over to his house.  I figured he must have remembered what he wanted to ask me so I turned around and ran back.

“What’s up?”, I asked. 

“Never mind, ” he said. 

A little confused, I turned around and started walking home again.  The first time he called me back was confusing, but when he did it a second and a then a third time I was beginning to get a little upset.

“Do you want me or not?”, I asked, panting to  catch my breath.  And then it happened.  My mouth was hanging wide open waiting for his response when he quickly moved in and kissed me.  Tongue and everything.  For a second I just stood there stunned and for a brief moment I remembered he was my friends ex-boyfriend.  Ex being the keyword so I did what any warm blooded american girl would do.  I kissed him back.  Of course I had no idea what I was doing but I figured he must know so I tried copying him. And then just as quickly as it began it was over.  He pulled away and smiled at me with his huge kool-aid grin and I continued to stand there with my mouth wide open.  I must have looked ridiculous and all I could say was, “Umm, I think I’m going to go home now.”  He said good-bye one last time and I started walking home.  This time I decided to take the short cut and as soon as I knew I was out of his sight I took off running as fast as I could to my bestfriends house to tell her all about it.  I was on cloud nine and there was nothing anyone could do to pull me down.

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